


Gone but Never Forgotten

by SeraphOfTheGay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Prometheus - Freeform, a child's innocence, hey makki and mattsun are uncles aint that cute, im sorry for this, implied major character death, in the angsty mood hnggn, ish, kanami is my oc btw, pls forgive me, she's their daughter, that really good but horrifying movie, that's in here bc every iwaoi fic has to have aliens, tw/ self-harm, tw/ suicide mention, you'll be okay tho i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 17:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphOfTheGay/pseuds/SeraphOfTheGay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi Hajime has always been able to cope with a lot of things, but when the news of Oikawa's disappearance (stated to be his death) reaches him, he doesn't think he'll be able to manage anymore. And how will he break the news to their four-year-old daughter, who still has hope for his return?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone but Never Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for the angst my dear shippers.

"This movie is so stupid," Iwaizumi says with a huff, shifting into a more comfortable position on the couch. He turns his head to the side, as if expecting a response from someone, but is only greeted with silence. Subconsciously, he hugs the alien plushie in his arms a little tighter, squirming at the site on the old TV screen. His eyes hurt from staring at bright lights while it's pitch-black outside, but he doesn't care. 

"Papa?" a voice calls, causing him to jolt in surprise. He pushes himself up from where he's laying on the couch, pausing the movie and rubbing his eyes.

"Kanami?" His voice comes out in a hoarse whisper, as if it's a strain just to speak her name. He turns around, peering over the edge of the couch. There, under the dimly-lit kitchen, stands his daughter, who now makes her way towards him with a bright, cheerful smile. Just looking at her smile fills him with nostalgia and suddenly he feels dizzy.

"What are you watching?" she asks, mounting his lap with a snack in her hand. She snuggles in between his arms, resting her mess of chocolate-brown hair between his shoulder and neck. Iwaizumi swallows, an eerie sense of nervousness washing over him like a tide. Kanami glances at the TV and then back at her father, awaiting a response.

Iwaizumi chokes on spit and hurriedly turns the TV off, his pupils dilating at the sudden loss of light. "Um, it's nothing you need to know about," he says softly, stroking her back.

Kanami narrows her eyes, picking up the empty DVD case lying on cushion beside them. Iwaizumi flinches and prepares to snatch it away, but she gets to it first. "Prometheus?" she reads aloud, looking at the title.

"You shouldn't be looking at that," Iwaizumi scolds lightly, taking the case away. "You're too young."

"But I'm almost five!" Kanami protests, a pout taking form on her small, delicate lips. Iwaizumi feels a sudden prick in his eyes and is horrified at the thought that he's about to cry. And he doesn't even know why. 

Quickly, he blinks the traces of tears away, letting out a groan. "You sound just like your dad."

Kanami smiles, and Iwaizumi feels a pang in his heart. She glances at the plushie wedged in Iwaizumi's right arm with a mischievous glint in her emerald eyes. "Isn't that Dad's toy?"

Iwaizumi's cheeks suddenly dust with pink as he tries to shove it behind his back. "W-what toy?" He chuckles nervously, refusing to meet her gaze.

Kanami giggles and wraps her arms around his neck, giving him a side-hug. She places a soft kiss on his cheek, mumbling, "It's okay, you know."

Iwaizumi wants to smile, but he can't bring himself to. Silence settles between them, and Iwaizumi feels something in his chest. Something like someone is gripping his lungs, twisting and squishing his insides like dough. He feels as though his interior is closing in on itself, making it difficult for him to breathe. 

"Papa?" Kanami begins, and Iwaizumi can see that a serious glint has taken place in her eyes. Her face is so painstakingly familiar that he has to fight the urge not to lose his composure. 

"Yeah?" he responds, his voice dry and scratchy.

"When was the last time you slept?" she asks, her perfect smile fading into a concerned frown.

Iwaizumi's eyes widen for a split second, but then return to normal size. He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his head as he averts his eyes. "Um, I think it was yesterday?"

"Don't lie to me," she scolds, and he can't help but think how much she reminds Iwaizumi of _him_.

He simply lets out a sigh to mask the hurt in his heart, and doesn't say anything after.

"You miss Dad, don't you?" she says softly, twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers. She uses her other hand to hold his arm, glancing up at him with eyes so similar to his own. 

Iwaizumi feels sick to his stomach. He debates whether or not to just flat out say it. He remains quiet, but on the inside, he's screaming, crying, and exploding with emotions.

"You have dark circles under your eyes," she points out, tracing the skin beneath his eyes with a soft finger. "And you haven't left this spot since the beginning of last week. When Dad left for his trip."

Iwaizumi shakes his head, and the only thing that comes out of his mouth is a light chuckle. He pulls his daughter close, hugging her tightly as if loosening his grip would cause her to disappear. He hates how she looks so much like her dad, from the bright, beautiful smile to the soft brown hair. The only thing she got from Iwaizumi was her eyes.

He can feel tears filling his own eyes, but he wipes them away with the edge of his shirt. Or rather, his significant other's shirt. He looks at Kanami with a wobbly smile, saying, "Since when did you get so smart?"

Kanami smiles again, but this time it's a different kind of smile, filled with an odd mix of both happiness and sorrow all at once. It's the same smile her dad gave Iwaizumi when he left two weeks ago. 

When Kanami doesn't say anything, Iwaizumi sniffles, running a hand through her hair. "Jeez, I'm so lame, aren't I? Since when did I show my feelings so easily?"

"Papa, it's not 'lame' to care about Dad, you know?" Kanami says. "I know how much you love him. He's gonna be back soon, I promise."

Iwaizumi feels his stomach flip, and he seriously thinks he's going to pass out. He wants to believe those words, he wants to believe them so badly, but the thing is, he _can't_. Because no matter how many times he told himself over the course of the week that everything would be okay, it wouldn't be true. And he didn't think it ever could be again. But he wasn't mad at her for saying that, he really wasn't. After all, she didn't receive that dreadful phone call on that lousy Tuesday evening, the one that plummeted his entire being into misery and darkness.

"Excuse me for a second, I have to use the bathroom," Iwaizumi says quickly. Kanami hops off with a worried expression on her face and watches as her father jogs to the bathroom with the alien plushie still clutched in his arms. She frowns, wondering why he's so panicked and afraid. Her dad had left on many trips before, and this wasn't even one of his longest ones, but still her father looked really upset. She only wished she knew why.

Iwaizumi throws open the bathroom door, gasping and breathing heavily as if he'd just ran a thousand miles in the desert. His eyes are widened so enormously that little crinkles have formed in the corners, his palms are sweaty and trembling violently, and his heart rate has sped up at an alarming rate. He can barely hold himself up, so he collapses onto the ugly plush rug that a certain someone had decided to throw in there a few months ago, and he can feel his entire body shaking. He grips onto the grab bar on the side wall, dropping the plushie, and tries to calm down. 

 _I'm being an idiot, why the hell am I reacting like this? So uncool,_ he thinks, reaching for a glass of water. He chugs the cool liquid down, hoping it would soothe his nerves. 

"Everything will be fine...everything will be fine...stay cool...stay cool...this isn't like you...this isn't like you...stay strong for Kanami....stay...strong..." he whispers to himself over and over, hoping that if he said it enough, it would help him feel better.

Unfortunately, it only causes him to go more insane.

He curls up into a ball, his entire body still trembling violently. He's laughing nervously to himself, muttering incoherent things and shaking his head slowly. He knows he's lost it; after all, he's kept his emotions locked away for an entire week, but it pisses him off how easily he broke. If he's already suffering this much in such a short amount of time, it scares him to think about how he would last for the rest of his life. Unless...

He doesn't even hesitate from his next thought. 

He reaches into the cabinet below the sink, pulling out a fresh, shiny blade. In a swift movement, he slashes it across his forearm, producing a deep, bloody cut. Blood flows down his arms and onto the rug, and Iwaizumi knows that at this point he's lost all sanity. Shaking his head, he cuts deeper, pressing the blade hard and deep into his flesh, hoping that it would distract him from his thoughts.

It doesn't.

He tries again, slashing so many parts of his skin until the entire lower half of his arm is stinging with pain. The rug is entirely stained with red, and Iwaizumi sits there in silence. He stares at his arm, contemplating his next move, when suddenly, he hears banging at the door.

"Papa? Are you okay? You've been in there for almost an hour..." Kanami says nervously, but her voice is laced with concern.

"K...Kana...Kanami..." Iwaizumi chokes out, and suddenly he's plunged back into reality. He blinks twice, taking a good look at his arm, and nearly faints at the sight of how much blood he's managed to lose. He wants to scream in fear, but he doesn't want to make Kanami worry. She was too young to know about any of this, so he had to hide it, and fast.

He snatches the towel from the rack and wraps it around his arm, ignoring the immense pain. He quickly flips the rug over, wipes away all the red stains from the floor, and kicks the knife back under the sink. He nearly trips when Kanami pushes open the door, staring at him with a worried look in her eyes.

"Papa...?" she says quietly. Iwaizumi can tell she looks scared, and it pains him to see her that way. He wonders how he could've been so stupid, but he can't help himself. He's left himself vulnerable and can no longer hold his strength. He stares at Kanami for a couple of seconds before sitting on the edge of the bathtub, shaking his head slowly as he finally lets the tears cascade down like a waterfall.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." he says shakily, biting his lip. 

"Why...why are you crying?" Kanami asks, and tears fill her eyes as well, because nothing makes her more upset than seeing either of her parents cry. It's the first time she's seen Iwaizumi cry, and it's so unexpected that it nearly breaks her heart. "Do you...do you want me to call Dad on the phone?"

Iwaizumi jerks his head upwards and looks at her for a good five seconds. Kanami doesn't like the strange look in his eyes, and suddenly she feels more afraid than she did before. Iwaizumi clutches the towel in his hand tightly, trying to tell himself to calm down, but he's never been one to restrain his anger easily. 

He can't take it anymore. He stands up abruptly, grabbing the vase of flowers near the sink and thrusting it at the wall, eyes filled with rage. He watches as the glass shatters into a million pieces, the shards falling into the bathtub as the water leaks out and the flowers fall apart. Kanami holds back a scream as she covers her mouth, taking a step back. Her legs tremble in fear, but Iwaizumi is too angry to notice. Repeatedly, he grabs more and more items from the bathroom and smashes them against the wall, breaking each and every bit of them to pieces. 

"Papa, stop!" Kanami cries out, letting tears flow down her delicate cheeks. "Dad will be mad if you break those!"

But Iwaizumi doesn't stop. He punches the wall, nearly denting it, as he screams, "Why did it have to be him?! Out of every person in this goddamn world, why did they take him?!"

Kanami blinks in confusion, sobbing as she clutches onto the door handle. "Please stop Papa...I'm scared..." 

Iwaizumi can barely hear her over his own rage. He tears down the shower curtains, throwing them in Kanami's direction, and they fly past her, landing outside the door. Kanami has never been this afraid before, but she musters up the courage to confront him, and even though she feels as though she will regret this move, she places a hand on her father's arm, begging him to stop.

Iwaizumi freezes, and suddenly time seems to stop around him. His mouth falls open, and he turns to look at Kanami with fear in his eyes, and only then does he realize what he's done. Broken pieces of plastic, glass, and wood are scattered across the bathroom floor, and he stares at them in surprise. He swallows, clearing his dry throat and speaks softly. "Did..Did I do that?"

Kanami looks hesitant, like she wants to say no, but she nods her head slowly, sniffling. 

Iwaizumi looks at her in horror before dropping to his knees, yelping in pain as two glass shards drive into his skin. "Oh my God Kanami, I...I'm so freakin' sorry," he chokes out, pulling her in for a hug. Luckily, Kanami doesn't back away in fear. She clings onto him tightly, crying. Iwaizumi feels bad, he feels so bad, and he can't believe what he's done. He only hopes it doesn't happen again.

"Papa, tell me what's wrong," Kanami demands shakily, lifting her tear-stained face from his shoulder. "Why are you acting like this?"

Iwaizumi shakes his head, gripping her shoulders firmly. "I think it's the lack of sleep getting to me. I'm sorry, princess."

Kanami sniffles at the nickname, and Iwaizumi presses a kiss to her forehead. His arm is still in a lot of pain, and he feels dizzy- like he's about to  _faint_ almost.

"Do you...do you know when Dad is coming back?" she asks, and Iwaizumi freezes up. "I checked your phone, and the last time you talked to him was last Tuesday. You were texting him asking if everything was okay."

Iwaizumi bites his lip, and again, he can't bring himself to meet her gaze. "How did you know the password?"

"It's easy," Kanami says with a sniffle, wiping her eyes. "It's 1441, because those were your and Dad's numbers when you played volleyball." Iwaizumi is impressed, but he's in too much pain to acknowledge her. 

"You even noticed how he stopped putting little smiley faces at the end of his messages. Is Dad okay?" Kanami whimpers, looking up at her father.

Iwaizumi looks at her with sad eyes as he desperately tries to force a smile. "Kanami...I..." he stops himself, because he really can't tell her. Not now, at least. He doesn't want to see how broken she would be once she found out the truth. He doesn't want to think about it. So instead, he tries to change the topic. "Hey, we should probably clean this up."

"Stop avoiding the question!" Kanami yells, and Iwaizumi is taken aback by her sudden burst of anger. He hesitates, when suddenly, he hears a sound from downstairs, like someone is trying to break into their house. 

"Shit," he hisses, completely forgetting about the rule of not cursing in front of his daughter. He stands up, pushing Kanami behind him.

"What is it?" Kanami asks, looking up at him.

"I think someone's trying to break in," Iwaizumi states flatly, picking her up. "I'll take you to your room, don't come out until I tell you it's safe."

"But Papa-" she begins, but Iwaizumi silences her. 

"You've heard the news about bad guys. I'm not going to lose you," Iwaizumi says sincerely, and Kanami is confused by that statement, but she nods nonetheless. He takes her to her room and shuts the door after instructing her to hide in the closet. Kanami does as he says, crouching behind one of the shelves.

Iwaizumi carefully descends the stairs before slipping into the kitchen. He grabs a stick, slowly stepping towards the front door. He's ready to attack anyone who dares harm his family, because after losing one member, he can't possibly afford to lose another.

He readjusts the towel wrapped around his arm, tightening the knot a little. He watches as whoever is outside is struggling with the lock, but he remains in his position, only thinking of attacking if the intruder gets too close. He waits patiently, and finally, after a couple of seconds, the door flies open. Iwaizumi narrows his eyes, trying to get a better view of who it could be, but it's dark and he can't see much. His heart is beating fast in his chest, and his palms are so sweaty that he nearly drops the giant stick, but he stays put and waits for the target to reach where he is.

The mysterious person enters casually as if he owns the place, and Iwaizumi is already annoyed by their attitude. He hates the ones who are agile and sneaky, because they're usually the hardest to fight against.

After hearing footsteps, he realizes that he needs to move, now, so he lunges out of his position, raising his stick in the air. "Don't you dare walk any f-" 

He stops, and his eyes blow out so wide he finds it hard to close them. The stick in his hand drops to the ground, creating a loud noise within the room. Iwaizumi stands there, frozen, his jaw dropped to the floor. He can't believe what's before his eyes.

Because standing before him is Oikawa Tooru, who was proclaimed to be dead just a couple of days ago.

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa says hesitantly, and Iwaizumi's never been more relieved or happy to hear those words. Oikawa studies Iwaizumi's figure, and his eyes land on the towel wrapped around his arm, but before he can comment on it, he's tackled to the ground. Warmth settles in on him, causing him to take a deep breath. 

"You...you bastard...you're...you're  _alive!"_ Iwaizumi practically screams. His eyes are overflowing with tears as he hugs Oikawa so tightly to the point where Oikawa has to tell him to loosen his grip a little.

"Of course I am, what made you think I wasn't?" Oikawa replies smoothly, and Iwaizumi studies his face, looking for something, but comes up short. "Jeez, why are you crying so much? Did you really miss me that much~?"

"Oikawa..." Iwaizumi breathes out, his eyes shining with a new layer of tears."Tooru..." His trembling hands cup Oikawa's face softly, almost as if he doesn't believe he's actually there, but he is, and Iwaizumi is feeling so many emotions right now. Oikawa cherishes his touch; he's missed it after all this time.

"I'm finally home," he says softly, giving Iwaizumi a half-lidded stare. 

Iwaizumi is now crying tears of joy, and although he's still in complete and utter disbelief, he grabs Oikawa's face and covers it in kisses, whispering "I love you" over and over and over in between each kiss.

"Iwa-chan, stop!" Oikawa laughs, placing his hands on Iwaizumi's chest. "That tickles!"

"Tooru, I am so... so fucking happy so shut up and let me enjoy the moment," Iwaizumi breathes out, capturing Oikawa's lips in a deep kiss, and Oikawa can't argue with that.

As the two of them share their moment, Kanami peeks out from the railing lining the stairs, and gasps in delight when she sees her parents. She hurries down the stairs, and Iwaizumi quickly pulls away from Oikawa, glancing at her with his cheeks burning a bright red.

"Dad! You're home!" Kanami cheers, pouncing onto the both of them.

Oikawa smiles and ruffles her hair. "Yeah I am, princess. How've you been? Has Iwa-chan been up to anything lately?" He gives her a glittery wink, and Kanami breaks into giggles. Iwaizumi feels hesitant all of a sudden, because he's afraid that she might say something he's trying to hide.

"He called me princess today!" Kanami says proudly. Oikawa smiles and Iwaizumi breathes out a sigh of relief. "But..." Iwaizumi's nerves are on-edge again. "He watched an alien movie without you! And he wouldn't let me watch with him!"

Oikawa gasps lightly, turning to face Iwaizumi. "Iwa-chan, how dare you!" 

"Kanami you flaker," Iwaizumi chuckles, leaning down to kiss both of their foreheads. 

"Which movie?" Oikawa asks, pulling Iwaizumi to his chest. 

"Oh, the one that you watched while I was out one night. Um, the really weird one. Prometheus or something," Iwaizumi says, and Oikawa makes a strangled sound. "What the hell?"

"Iwa-chan, I haven't seen that one yet! And I thought I told you not to curse in front of Kanami!" 

"What?! I thought you did! And sorry, it just came out."

"No! So mean, Iwa-chan! I was waiting to watch that with you!"

"Oh. Well I only got through the first ten minutes, so..."

"We're gonna watch it now!" 

"Are you kidding? It's so late!"

Oikawa pouts, and then turns to Kanami. "Wait, why are you still up?"

Kanami shrugs, and Oikawa glares at Iwaizumi. "Jeez Iwa-chan, everything falls out of place when I'm not here, huh?"

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes as plants a gentle kiss on Oikawa's nose. Kanami giggles, and then Oikawa unfastens the tie on his dress shirt, throwing it aside. "Okay, I'm gonna go use the bathroom and get changed. Kanami, go to bed. Iwa-chan, make us popcorn."

"Awe no fair! Why can't I watch the movie?" Kanami whines, giving the both of them puppy-dog eyes.

"Sorry, princess, you're too young to watch it," Oikawa says. He looks at Iwaizumi with a fond smile and places his hands on his shoulders. "Iwa-chan, can you get off me now? I'm gonna go change."

"Okay, but one more kiss," he mumbles in embarrassment, leaning down to peck Oikawa's lips once more. Oikawa smiles and Kanami hugs the both of them, telling them how much she loves them. Then, the three of them sit up and get prepared to go their separate ways, when suddenly, the door bursts open.

"Iwaizumi, we came to-" one of the voices starts, but then stops almost immediately when they spot the three of them on the floor. 

Iwaizumi turns to look at who it is, and he's surprised to see that it's Hanamaki and Matsukawa. "What are you guys doing here?"

Hanamaki stands in the doorway with his mouth open, glancing at Iwaizumi and then Oikawa and then back at Iwaizumi.

"I thought Oikawa was..." Matsukawa begins, but then trails off as Iwaizumi shakes his head. Oikawa shoots them a confused look, but they pretend not to notice.

"Oh, that's great then!" Hanamaki says, laughing nervously, but Iwaizumi can tell that he's relieved. 

"Uncle Mattsun! Uncle Makki!" Kanami cheers, running up to them and hugging their legs. 

"Hey, Kanami!" Hanamaki greets, flashing her a bright smile. 

"Papa, Dad, can I go to their house for the night?" Kanami asks after the two nod their head in agreement.

"Yeah, you two could use some alone time. We'll take care of her for the night," Matsukawa says, picking her up. 

"If she comes back with a new meme, I swear," Iwaizumi warns. "But sure, that's okay by me. You okay with that, Oikawa?"

Oikawa nods, holding up a peace sign. "Take good care of my princess!"

"Will do," Hanamaki says. 

Oikawa gives them a bright smile before standing up and excusing himself to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Kanami packs her bag for the sleepover she's going to have, when suddenly, a loud shriek comes from upstairs, causing Iwaizumi to go pale.

 _Shit,_ he thinks. He had completely forgotten about the mess he made in the bathroom. He was so happy about Oikawa's return that it didn't even strike him once to try to prevent Oikawa from going into the upstairs bathroom.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?!" Oikawa screams, and Iwaizumi begins sweating nervously.

"Uh, we'll be on our way!" Matsukawa says, taking Kanami and walking out the door.

"Good luck Iwaizumi!" Hanamaki says with a wave, closing the door behind him.

"...yeah I'm gonna need that luck..." Iwaizumi mumbles to himself as he goes up the stairs.

"Iwa-chan! Did a burglar break in or something? Tell me!" Oikawa yells, holding a bent flower as he looks around. "Do you know how much I paid for these?!"

"Oikawa...I-" Iwaizumi begins, but is interrupted by Oikawa's dramatic gasp. He flips over the rug, and Iwaizumi has to turn away from the sight.

"Is this...is this _blood?!_ What the hell! What happened here?" Oikawa shifts his gaze from the rug to Iwaizumi, waiting for him to say something. Iwaizumi stays quiet, unsure of how to explain the situation to him. Oikawa's eyes fall from his face to his arm, and he glares at it accusingly. "I was going to ask about this earlier, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. Why do you have a towel wrapped around your arm?"

Iwaizumi steps back, reaching for the door handle, when suddenly, Oikawa grabs his wrist, holding him in place. 

"Hajime," Oikawa says strictly. "Take the towel off."

"What?" Iwaizumi nearly chokes on his words. "Oikawa, you don't understand." Oikawa continues staring at him, and he shifts uncomfortably. He decides to change the topic to avoid any unnecessary concern. "Hey, you just got back from a long trip, we'll talk about this later okay? I'll clean up the mess and everything, I promise. Just go get changed already."

"Wasn't the towel white before? I don't remember buying red towels," Oikawa says tiredly, and Iwaizumi pulls his wrist free, lifting Oikawa's hand to his face and kisses it softly. 

"I'll tell you later. While we watch the movie," Iwaizumi says, and he hopes that Oikawa will forget about it as they're watching. "I'll go make the popcorn now. Come join me on the couch, okay?"

Oikawa wants to argue, but he's too exhausted to. He simply nods, picking up his plushie that he has no memory of leaving in the bathroom, and walks into their shared room. Iwaizumi releases a sigh of relief before hurrying downstairs and into the kitchen. He grabs two bags of popcorn from the pantry and throws them in the microwave, setting a bowl out in preparation. As the popcorn pops, he grabs a large blanket from the closet and tosses it onto the couch. 

Five minutes later, he's sprawled across the couch with a blanket over his legs and the popcorn bowl balanced on his lap. Oikawa joins him a couple of minutes later, wearing his favorite alien pajamas with his hair neatly brushed. He crawls in next to Iwaizumi, wrapping his arms around his waist and laying his head on his chest. 

"Hey," Iwaizumi says softly, hitting play on the remote. The opening credits of the movie roll, and Iwaizumi uses that time to ask Oikawa something he's been meaning to asks since he first saw him at the door. "Oikawa, there's something I need to tell you."

"Hmm?" Oikawa hums, looking up at Iwaizumi. He then looks at his shirt, letting out a soft gasp. "Iwa-chan, is that my shirt you're wearing?"

Iwaizumi turns red, but nods. "Yeah...it is."

Oikawa feels a surge of happiness run through him, but he plasters a serious expression on his face. "You were saying?"

"Oh, yeah, um, I...I got a phone call last Tuesday," he says quietly, pulling Oikawa closer. 

"Oh?" Oikawa mumbles with a yawn. He suddenly feels the serious tone in his voice and looks him in the eyes, letting him know that he's listening.

"They told me...they told me that you were..." Iwaizumi struggles with his words, and his throat tightens. 

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa says softly, lifting his hand to place on Iwaizumi's cheek. "What's wrong? What is it?"

"They told me you had died." Iwaizumi closes his eyes, pausing the movie as he hears the man's voice introduce the movie. 

"They... _what?_ " Oikawa sits up in surprise, all the tiredness fading away. 

Iwaizumi nods with a frown, and suddenly everything clicks into place in Oikawa's mind. 

"So a burglar didn't break in. You did that, didn't you?" Oikawa asks, referring to the situation in the bathroom.

Iwaizumi's lip quivers, and he knows it's lame, but he just wants to cry again. The thought of losing Oikawa had scared him more than anything in the entire world. But he has something else to talk about, something really important. "Oikawa, quit your job." He turns to him, staring intently into his eyes as he holds his face with one hand. 

"Excuse me?" Oikawa is taken aback, and he blinks, trying to process what he just said. "Don't be stupid, Hajime."

"I'm not being stupid," Iwaizumi retorts, and his grip tightens. "Is it stupid to want to protect someone you love?"

"Iwa-chan, I was gone for only two weeks," Oikawa says, but even he knows that two weeks is a long time to be apart. He's missed Iwaizumi just as much as Iwaizumi had missed him.

"It's not about just that," Iwaizumi says, trying to keep his voice steady. "You want to know why I believed the person on the phone?" Oikawa looks at him in a strange way, and Iwaizumi swallows the lump in his throat. "It's because...I thought you were... suicidal."

"Huh?" Oikawa says in mock surprise, but he feels his throat tighten. "Why would you..."

"You know it too, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi hisses. "I could tell by the way you were texting me. And also, you're stressing yourself out too much. Just stop thinking you're not good enough for once!"

"Iwa-chan..."

"I'm serious." Oikawa can see the tears in his eyes, and guilt fills his insides. "Oikawa, do you want to know something? You mean everything to me. Call me cheesy, call me whatever you want. Damn it, Oikawa, why can't you just understand that? You don't have to be the best in the world. You're already the best to me. You're good enough for me. So stop thinking you're not! If people can't see how amazing you are, they need glasses, and they're really missing out on an amazing person."

Oikawa feels like his breath has been taken away. He stares at Iwaizumi with a surprised but fond look in his eyes, and finally everything falls into place.

"What did I do to deserve you, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa says with a wobbly smile, leaning in close to place his forehead on Iwaizumi's. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. 

"I love you, Tooru," Iwaizumi says, letting a single tear flow down his cheek.

"I love you too, Hajime," Oikawa says, using his thumb to gently wipe the tear away. He kisses the spot under Iwaizumi's eye, tasting salt from the tears. He pulls back a little to look into his eyes, but then spots the dark circles under Iwaizumi's eyes, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "Have you been sleeping? You look like a raccoon."

Iwaizumi shakes his head with a sigh. "Your personality is still trash," he says with a light chuckle, kissing Oikawa on the nose.

"You're being oddly affectionate today~" Oikawa sighs happily, waving off the insult. 

"I'm just really glad you're here," he breathes out. "And next time, if you ever have suicidal feelings again, you better tell me."

Oikawa nods a bit hesitantly, because the topic makes him uncomfortable, but he's happy that he can cherish another moment with Iwaizumi. 

"I'm gonna start the movie now, so get ready," Iwaizumi says, reaching for the remote. However, before he can hit the button, Oikawa pulls him in for a kiss. He melts into it, closing his eyes, but they re-open immediately as he feels Oikawa rip the towel off his arm, and panic settles into his heart. He sees the horrified expression on Oikawa's face, making him feel sick all over again. "Oikawa, I can explain-"

" _What the fuck is this, Hajime?!"_ Oikawa practically screams out, pointing at all the cuts littering the lower half of Iwaizumi's left arm. "Oh my fucking god!"

"Oikawa, don't freak out," Iwaizumi says quickly, leaving the movie unpaused. 

"Iwa-chan, how could you do this to yourself?! Your beautiful skin... look at all those scars!" Oikawa looks dizzy, and Iwaizumi has to place his hands on his shoulder to hold him up.

"This is why I didn't want you to see it," he mumbles, and Oikawa throws him a sharp glare. He shrinks, turning his head away.

"So that was your blood on the rug upstairs? Iwa-chan, oh my god, why, why in the world would you do that to yourself?!" Oikawa asks, basically pleading for an answer. "Did Kanami see you like that? Please tell me she didn't."

Iwaizumi shakes his head reassuringly. "She didn't see the blood. I'm sorry Oikawa, I was being stupid."

Oikawa is still glaring at him, but he has tears in his eyes. Iwaizumi would never forgive himself for making Oikawa cry like this so many times. "Don't do this again. Ever. If I ever see you self-harm again, I'm locking you in our room and never letting you out."

"Okay, okay, I get it," Iwaizumi says half-heartedly. "I swear on it."

"Pinky promise, Iwa-chan," Oikawa sniffles, holding out his pinky.

"Aren't we a little too old for that?" Iwaizumi asks, but the serious look in Oikawa's eyes makes him oblige. He holds out his pinky and locks it with Oikawa's, just like how they did many times when they were kids. 

Oikawa lifts Iwaizumi's scarred arm to his face and kisses the biggest, deepest scar. Iwaizumi blinks at him, blushing. "What are you doing?" Oikawa ignores the question and continues kissing all the other scars, the trembling in his hands reducing slightly. "Oikawa..."

Oikawa finishes kissing the last scar, and then intertwines his fingers with Iwaizumi's. He squeezes his hand tightly and leans into shoulder again. Iwaizumi uses his free arm and wraps it around Oikawa's waist, pulling him as close as possible. Oikawa does the same, and finally, they're both settled into a comfortable position. 

The rest of the night is spent with the two of them watching the movie, with Oikawa pointing out every five minutes how cool the scenes are while Hajime churns in fear. The graphics are a little too much for him, and the intensity of it all scares him. The scene that freaks him out the most is the one where they stumble upon the giant alien parts, and he feels queasy when a nano bot crawls into one of the character's eyes. He's never been good with gore or any slimy, realistic looking graphics, but if Oikawa likes it, then he's willing to put up with it.

Because after all, as long as he's with Oikawa, nothing else matters.

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE HAHA I ENDED WITH FLUFF BC THERE'S TOO MUCH ANGST IN THIS FANDOM AND YEAH GLAD U SURVIVED


End file.
